i am including many subtle & Sophisticated literary and obscure/Ancient cultural references, herein.
i trust that will not discombobulate too many of my faithful readers.
(same content as an email I sent earlier, with additions and edits)
I checked out surgery in Canada:
I visited my MD, who said
"Go see an Emergency department and insist they look after this."
I did and the doctor there said, "Here's a list of ultrasound clinics. Phone around and you should get an appointment in a week of two. Then come back with the results and we should be able to get you into a XXXologist within the month."
And I was leaving for Thailand within 10 days or so. Bless socialized medicine. I decided to wait and get fixed in Bangkok.
I got to BKK after 30+ hours in airports and planes.
Two days later I went to the BANGKOK HOSPITAL (a group of private hospitals at major centres in Thailand.) I got there at 11 a.m. By 5 that afternoon I had
- 2 consultations with the doctor
- an ultrasound
- blood test
- 642 visits to accountants to ensure I could/would pay
- and had the surgery!
- a picture of the moment of removal of my censored.
I could send this to you, but it is gross, bloody and far more intimate about my anatomy then you or I would want
- paid out just over $3600.00 total
I kept hoping for about a month of starvation, since that could mean some weight reduction. But 'twas not to be...
On Wednesday, although not on any road to anywhere, I had an epiphanic moment! (Similar to an "aha moment" but humongouser.) These are NOT to be mistaken as senior moments, although given that I was the one having it... who really knows?
(HA... there was a literary/cultural reference in that last paragraph... did you get it?)
On Wednesday, when I awakened, I said to myself, "Garry old bean, I believe you are experiencing the sensation of hunger."
"Yeah, Worger." I hear your sceptical response. "Who hasn't?"
Well, gentle reader, I don't believe I ever before recognized hunger.
Nor being full.
I knew what it was like to be starved, and god knows I recognized the results of gluttony.
(Not intended as a cultural reference)
But hungry and full had eluded me. I understand from a friend of mine, that many humans with eating disorders recognize only the feeling extremes.
So I finally inhabit a body that could distinguish hunger. AND, I found that being full was also obvious, I wonder if my reduced blood sugar, due to the 2 days of non-eating, meant that my brain could recognize more subtle nuances in %age blood sugar?
Whatever... I am very pleased with the new body awareness.
A bonus... I have (thus far) retained the 2 body sensations, and when I've eaten to the point of fullness, I ACTUALLY STOP.
And to add to the more generally healthier being, I've cut out coffee and rely on cold weak green tea for most of my water intake during the day.
HOWEVER, right now I'm hungry. Maybe pizza and a beer...
HOLY CRAP! That bordered on wearisomely distressing.
How do I feel thee? Let me count the ways...
How alert are you?
I know how many ways I counted... do you?
Put your answer in the comments section at the bottom of this post.
You might add in some synonyms i missed as well
Here are more deistical/cultural samples:
- #1: I was constipated, so I was annoyed when people asked, "What hurts, Uranus?" #2: And I'd reply, "No, it's my Anu _" (singular, I guess)
I know these are too close to count as 2 examples, and I really was stretching to include #2. (No disgusting pun intended) Are you frustrated at the inclusion of such nonsense?
READ MY LIPS... 2 WORDS... NO, not Merry Christmas...
- My face hurt, so I couldn't Shiva.
- And when the incision was healing, I was an Itchy Man Too.
- I felt a Teotl wreck.
- I was going to a party, but I had to Ba'Al.
- I was in great Paean (doesn't count for the contest)
- I felt good to leave the hospital and head for Haoema
- special thanks to Wikipedia.
After several uncomfortable days of putting up with the pain, I stumbled onto a pain-relieving technology that just might revolutionize medicine!
I gave up on being Friedrich Nietzsche's hero, and started sucking down the pain medicine the doctor had given me.
WHAT A DIFFERENCE. I could sleep. I could sit comfortably. I could walk. I didn't groan every time I shifted. I could grow to love the feeling of NO pain.
In spite of near-rapturous intimacy with the analgesics, I am determined NOT to slip into a long-lasting relationship with these. I loved the movie, "Walk the Line". I learned the lesson therein presented. No sucking down prescription meds as did my favourite C&W, male, deceased, singer... that good ol' boy, JC.
One of the physical issues I had was a lack of muscle tone because of the incision the doctor had made. Now while my athleticism and radius was no match for an European Soldier (as queried in that famous ditty from several generations ago) my answer to the first question in that song would definitely be "Yes!". The pain pills and healing have made the condition bearable, however.
Growing old seems to exacerbate the issues associated with healing.
Tonsils out at age 6: about 2 days to heal.
Sprained knee at 30: 2 weeks to recovery.
Hernia operation at 55: a month
Radial head replacement (stainless steel elbow component) at 65: still giving me trouble
This operation at 73: I'll let you know.
INSIGHT #4: (click link to read)